London, United Kingdom-based experts in dating and relationships have scientifically substantiated the rationale behind waiting 90 days before engaging in sexual intimacy with a new partner, particularly for women.
The concept of the 90-day dating rule gained prominence through the influential figure of Steve Harvey, a renowned television personality and the author of “Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man.” Harvey introduced this rule as a means to assist women in avoiding relationship complexities by distinguishing between committed individuals and those who are not.
Stephen and Ebun Hammond, a husband-and-wife duo and dating coaches at Love Dimensions, have been guiding singles in their quest for love for over five years. Intrigued by Harvey’s rule, they took it upon themselves to examine its scientific validity. Surprisingly, their findings confirmed its efficacy!
Stephen explained, “Our initial focus was to explore scientific research regarding the interplay of hormones in romantic situations. It is widely known that sexual attraction, experienced by both men and women, arises from a combination of hormones such as testosterone, dopamine, and adrenaline (also known as epinephrine). These chemicals create the exhilarating rush of excitement and euphoria we encounter during the early stages of dating and falling in love. These emotions are crucial in sustaining the desire to continue meeting and building a relationship with the other person.”
“However,” he continued, “what is not widely known is that scientific research has revealed that it usually takes a minimum of 2-3 months for individuals to develop genuine feelings of love. Once again, hormones play a significant role in this process. Oxytocin, commonly referred to as the ‘love hormone,’ is found, on average, to be three times more prevalent in women than men and contributes to bonding in relationships. Vasopressin, although less well-known, is vital for fostering a sense of monogamy and mate-guarding in men. However, just as emotional attachment takes time to grow in men, it also takes time for testosterone levels to decrease, allowing oxytocin and vasopressin to exert their effects. Testosterone, a crucial hormone in love attraction for both genders, requires time to settle.”
Ebun, while cautioning women about the perils of rushing into commitment prematurely, stated, “Let’s be honest, dating should primarily be about enjoyment. Nonetheless, based on our experience, if women do not invest enough time in truly getting to know someone, they are more likely to end up with an emotionally unstable partner or even become victims of domestic violence. The 90-day rule serves as an effective preventive measure against these scenarios. It is a scientifically grounded principle that we strongly encourage all our clients to embrace.”
In conclusion, the scientific substantiation of the 90-day abstinence rule underscores the importance of allowing ample time for emotional attachment and genuine love to blossom in relationships. By adhering to this principle, individuals, particularly women, can make more informed decisions and minimise the risks associated with hasty commitments.
