The festive season can put extra strain on any relationship – especially for those already struggling to get along.
Hectic schedules, financial pressures and family commitments all tend to ratchet up the pressure at this busy time of the year.
One expert has revealed the warning signs that your partnership might not make it through the Yuletide season, highlighting the red flags that need addressing in order to find a solution to the situation.
James Brien, founder of Easy Online Divorce and author of two books on the subject, says for many it is a case of long-standing issues coming to head as the end of the year approaches.
“As people drift apart, this can manifest itself in a number of behavioural patterns that tend to become more pronounced over time.” he explained.
“And it’s no surprise that these can come more pronounced and obvious over Christmas and New Year, when people are very busy, stressed and often spending much more time together in close proximity.
“While the end of a marriage can be upsetting, it’s important to spot the signs that things are not going well and have some serious conversations about the best thing to do about it.”
Here Mr Brien reveals the six key signs your relationship might be heading for choppy waters this festive season:
Increased tension
If you’re arguing more often and seem unable to agree on anything, it could signal deeper problems. Disagreements can often be about minor things, such as plans for the holiday period or who is getting which presents. This type of constant conflict without resolution suggests the loss of connection between a couple.
Unresolved issues surface
Christmas is busy enough without any past problems being dragged up. If any resentments that should have been dealt with are all of a sudden reappearing, it’s a clear sign that you haven’t really worked through your problems sufficiently.
Lack of compromise
A relationship that’s on shaky ground can often be characterised by an inability or unwillingness to compromise. Either party being unduly stubborn and insisting on getting their own way without considering the other side’s feelings or needs can make things feel especially fractious during Yuletide celebrations.
You want to ‘escape’ each other
Spending more time with family and friends than you are together should get alarm bells ringing. This can also be true if you are doing more solo activities – going for walks on your own or toiling away in the gym while others are spending time together. This could signal deep-rooted unhappiness and that the relationship has become more of a burden than a joy.
You’re not on the same page about future plans
Christmas and New Year is a time when people often discuss what they want to achieve in the year ahead. Maybe it’s a summer holiday or getting some work done on the house. If you’re way apart on these aims, or maybe not bothered about them at all, it can indicate that your long-term compatibility is in question.
Comparing yourself to others
If one or both of you are frequently comparing your relationship to other people – be it either friends, family, or even those you see on social media – it can cause feelings of insecurity and dissatisfaction. This can be particularly damaging during the festive season, as it may magnify any feelings of inadequacy or disappointment about your own relationship.
Mr Brien said: “This can be a challenging time of year for many marriages, but it can also be a time of reflection and clarity.
“If you’re noticing these signs, it might be a good idea to take a step back and reassess the relationship, communicate openly with your partner, and consider whether the issues are temporary or indicate deeper incompatibilities.
“The key is being honest with yourself and your partner about what you’re both experiencing.”
